834 - Joanna January

Well. It's a Brave New World. A new year, or if you're a Millennial twat, it's the....


John Oliver: CURRENT YEAR!!!!


Time to dust off the traditional greeting. Which I have slightly adjusted and modified.


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For those of you just joining us. Welcome to a special tradition here at WinneBobble, a monthly, and unsurprisingly popular, set of pages that try to review and nutshell the month that has just passed.

Welcome to the Month Review.

What began as a means to simply play catch up on far too many issues that I couldn’t write a rant for all of them, to an amusing little jab at the world at large. Taking a small inspiration from the JibJab Year in Review series (which shall be missed) the Month Reviews have allowed me to cover nearly all the topics I want with a single page.


Hitting about 50 birds with one stone” if you will.

I won’t point this out with every single one, but if asked “WTF WHY ISN’T _____ HERE?” I can then copy paste this section in the near future.

Now the problem with providing a review for a month, is I cannot cover every single detail. If I were to do so, this wouldn’t be a simple page... But about 50 of them and could count as it’s own series.

What you see is a simple condensed version of the last 31 days.  Naturally, I’ve established some rules with the MR’s to make it less of a chore to make. Which I will now regale you with, and will be the bit I copy paste to those who ask “Hey umm, _________ happened the day you put this up so why isn’t it here?”


1: My cut off point is 3 days from the months end.
So for January it will be the 28th, and next month will be the 26th. Anything that happens AFTER that point will simply be left out. However I will give a special mention in the following MR if it was of great importance. The other reason for the cut off point is it allows me time to work on the Dom Fantasies.

2: News from England/UK takes centre stage.
Not really surprising because I am English. If I were American then American news would the most prominent feature, and if I was *INSERT YOUR COUNTRY HERE* then *INSERT YOUR COUNTRY HERE* would be the main focus. If something happened in say Spain or Argentina, then it sucks that happened. However, if you would like to have something featured, please PM me or leave a comment before the cut off point.

3: I didn’t hear about it.
This is something I am trying to crack down on. I did get some flack in the past for not featuring a big news event. Which I have asked my friends and followers to kindly point out to me, or make me aware of what is happening. Again, if you want me to cover something, feel free to PM me.

4: Too many idiots shit the bed.
In the past, I've tried to stop covering stories of "Celebrities behaving badly" because there are so many hours in the day. I'm also extending this now to include Social Justice Warriors. A group of people I truly do not give a fuck about anymore, and frankly are not worth the energy anymore. Yes, they're childish and completely insane, but so are Celebrities and there are only so many hours in the day!

However, I do try to reference something within a reference. Pay attention to the backgrounds or what characters say.

5: Actual News Stories.
Thanks to Buzzfeed and their "GoldenShowers" story from January 2017, I have a clear cut definition now. Basically if you have no reliable information, no actual documented proof or verifiable sources. I can dismiss your claim as "total bollocks!" I am including Golden Showers in this MR as the last time I'm going to waste the acknowledgement of "total bollocks." Mind you, I could just include a new panel labelled "Total Bollocks!"

6: If I haven’t already talked about it.
Sometimes I like to cover a story by itself or if I feel it cannot wait till the MR. This will also apply to movies and the occasional video game, where I’ll just full on review them in detail.

Those are the rules…. But you’ll still ask me “WTF YOU DIDN’T MENTION ________!!!” so I’ve basically wasting my time telling you all that.



Howdy, everyone! How is 2017 treating you so far?

How about that apocalypse?

You know, that thing every whiny Hillary supporter said was going to happen THE MOMENT Trump became President. Well, as someone just outside the American quarantine zone, I can assure you I'm coping just fine. I've got my daily rations, exercise as I go to work because FUCK ALL HAPPENED! Yes dear friends, we have finally arrived in 2017. The year that promises to be anything but 2016, which far too many triggered idiots called "THE WORST YEAR EVER!!!"

Why exactly? Your team lost the election and some celebrities died? The same year that saw us making bold steps in curing cancer and altschmerz. The year that saw Pandas no longer as an endangered species and many other wondrous things? Oh wait it wasn't so bad after all, was it? In all seriousness, I've stated I enjoyed 2016 mainly because of what happened when I'm not working on the comic series or on Facebook shitposting Robotnik images. I got financially stable and fell in love. So I will never say 2016 was the worst year ever. 2014 is still the crowned champion on that so shush!

I like to look at the year in this format. January is the runners at the starting position and December is the finishing line. The year doesn't begin properly until February. January acts mainly as a chance to take a quick breather and get your shit ready for February.... And to sleep off December's bullshit.

I guess the main thing to talk about is the Inauguration. I watched it not because I'm a Trump supporter, nor that I enjoy watching people cry. I watched this thing because I needed some closure. After a year and a half of people throwing insults, name calling, riots, race baiting and all the stupid crap the lame-stream media failed to report on. I wanted closure from what could be considered one of the most miserable elections ever. Two candidates who really are not up to the task and were a case of "they'll do!" since the guy most people wanted was forced out of the race by the DNC.

I think the funny bit has been the celebrity melt downs because of it. The hilarious scenario that an industry full of dishonest, liars, rich pretenders and people living in a bubble .... Were beaten by the one of the biggest liars, cheaters and pretenders of them all! I know why all these celebrities are up in arms and upset. Not because they care about you or Hillary, fuck no. They lost millions of dollars in endorsements and are now throwing a massive temper tantrum over this result. Now, you'd think after that losing the election, realising their race baiting bullshit and made up patriarchal boogeymen got them no where! That it would have been the end of it? You'd think they'd look at this result and straighten up and fly right. You'd think they'd count their loses, give the man a chance and try to work with the people instead of talking down to them like they're peasants?


YOU'D.
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BE.
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COMPLETELY.
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FUCKING.
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WRONG!!!
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I must say, watching these overpaid drama queens throwing this hissy fit is like watching someone repeatedly punch a wall. You're not sure if you want to stop him before he hurts himself, or grab a chair and some popcorn and simply enjoy the show! I'm not talking about the women's march (minus that bullshit from Madonna) for they protested peacefully. I don't really care unless they're destroying things. But they can have their protest, say they achieved something and we'll forget all about it come February. I know that sounds unsympathetic, but you have to remember folks. After what felt like 3 and a half years of "EVERYONE I DON'T LIKE IS LIKE LITERALY HITLER!!!" my give a fuck meter is running on empty. They've cried wolf one too many times and it seems a majority of America isn't listening anymore!

Go ahead, Celebrities. Keep acting like whiny cunts! Have Shia LeBerk assault people for not huffing his own farts, or have has-beens like Meryl Streep continue to prove how completely out of touch you are with reality. "He will not divide us!" but you're nihilistic, narcissism and privileged screaming is definitely going to divide us! I was thinking of banning these Celebrity melt downs from the Month Reviews (because it's giving them free publicity) but honestly? It's fucking hilarious to watch these people destroy their careers and appear like stark raving lunatics.

But the worst part about all this?

It takes the focus off the real thing to be concerned about. Donald J Trump.

Yes the Muslim Ban is stupid and uncalled for. Yet from how I was seeing it reported and reacted to by my friends, it sounded like a PERMINANT BAN.... Then I went to look it up and it's actually a temporary ban for roughly 90 days. Why didn't they mention that? Or do people just react to headlines these days? Again, it's bloody stupid and shows weakness but the overreaction to something that Obama apparently set in place gives me a headache!

Also the TPP is now finally dead so THANK YOU, Mr.President! At least now I can continue to talk shit about stuff and do commissions without fear of being shut down by a corporation with an access to grind!

More to the point. I am so sick of hearing about Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Barrack Obama, this election and all of the stupid shit that came along with it! That I found the announcement of the first cannon female Super Saiyan more satisfying than this result. I do not want to hear another fucking word about a US election until 2020. I meant every word in my November 2016 Month Review on the topic. This happened because the left created the environment that allowed Brexit and Donald Trump to take advantage of.

You want someone to blame? Fine, I'll say this one last time before dismissing this subject entirely. You wanna know why Hillary lost? Maybe this analogy will help.

I want you to imagine it's a Chess Championship in... I don't fucking know, Maddison Square Garden.

Big crowd, sturdy wooden table in the centre with a priceless chess set on top. Two chairs either side. There is a broken chair on the floor next to the table with "Bernie" written on it. Each chess piece has a policy written on it. Such as "Environment" "Foreign Policy" "Taxes" and so on. Trump and Hillary sit either side and the game begins.

At first, it's going as you'd expect. Each move is placed and a nice back and fourth is going on. Then Trump moves a Rook that has "Immigration" written on the side. He turns to the crowd and says "Let's see what she does with this?" and the audience have a chuckle at him, for they know he's lost this game. Then something very strange happens. Hillary jumps onto the table, she kicks the Chess Board off the table as hard as she could, drops to her knees and pulls out the largest knife you can find. She proceeds to repeatedly stab herself in the stomach, over and over again! As violently and aggressively as possible. Trump is in stunned silence and the crowd is dumb founded. He begins to think to himself "Maybe I shouldn't have said that, I know I was losing..." before he can complete that thought, she starts shouting clichés one after another! Everything from "Racism" to "Islamophobia!" and "White Privilege!" until she finally collapses off the table, chokes on her blood and dies.

The arena is in complete stunned silence. Nobody knows what to say! "She had this won!" they were all thinking and even Trump is beside himself. After what feels like a century, he politely coughs, puts the chessboard back on the table, puts the rook infront of her king  and relunctuantly turns to the crowd.

He puts on a fake smile and says "Well, I wasn't expecting that?" and proceeds to get an awkward clap from the audience.

What I'm saying is, Trump is a used car salesman, a swindler and a crook. Hillary SHOULD have soundly defeated this man.... But she didn't. How shit do you have to be to lose to Donald J Trump?

But, that's it folks. It's over, we have a new US President. Brexit is gonna happen, I have a bet on about the French and German elections this year.


I have never wanted an election cycle to be over as badly as this one. Now we can go back to what we're all on here for.

Laughing at bible thumping Conservatives!

-Rant Over-