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493 - The Good, The Bad and the Glitches by RandomDC3
493 - The Good, The Bad and the Glitches
Preowned Experiment: Big Villain 8 7/8

The Good, Bad and the Glitches.

Of all the words associated with gamers being fired out of liberal hipsters mouths these days (lol misogyny) the words I’d use to describe gamers is time travellers. I mean think about it, you get to go into the past or future to explore a wide collection of kick ass time periods without a phone booth or a flux capacitor.

On these experiments, we’ve seen Pirates, Spacemen, Undead Ninjas, Assassins, Archaeologists, Mary Sues, Vietnam “Black Ops” soldiers, Overlords and the like.

I guess we can now add Cowboys to that list.

I think if we’re being honest with ourselves, Cowboys don’t lend themselves at many decent video games. The only one that comes to my warped little mind is Konami’s classic arcade shoot em up Sunset Riders. However I think Red Dead Redemption may have kicked Sunset Riders off its perch for best Cowboy Game I’ve ever played…. A list consisting of two games mind you but the point still stands.

While I did fall out with Rockstar with how they turned Grand Theft Auto into “Boring Cousin Babysitter Simulator” with the 4th instalment while I went to hang out with Saints Row, I will admit they did win me over with the superior L.A. Noire and I think even RDR tops that too. I’m a simple man to please and all I want from a western is to show up and blow bitches’ heads clean the fuck off….

… Is what I would be saying if I didn’t spend 80% of the game riding on a horse!

I get that this is set in the year 1911 but the journey from point A to point B can really take a long ass time. Mainly when I arrived in Mexico and the two mission options were on opposite ends of the map, oh and speaking of Mexico if I’m perfectly able to just ride over a bridge to get in and out of the place; why in fuck did I get on a raft with a drunk Irishman… with an Irishman who deemed it “the only way in?”

I’m not saying the horse riding is bad but it’s the most fiddly and flawed part of the game. Mainly when shooting targets on horse back. Seriously Rockstar, you expect me to maintain a steady speed WHILE aiming a gun and firing? It got easier over time but only after hours of fiddling, dying and frustratingly accommodating to this preposterous set up. That being the lone black cloud in this perfect blue sky of pistol duelling, bandit capturing and tobacco chompin while the rest of the issues come off as nitpicky.

Let’s deal with the nitpicks now. What was the point of bringing back the cattle rustling tutorial near the end of the game? I got that at the start but that strikes me as an odd design choice. Considering it is the most tedious and boring part of the overall package (next to the long ass journeys) for it did kill the bullet bill pace I was thundering at to wrangle up some cows. The natural argument I had with myself is “but it’s embracing everything about being a Cowboy!” which is correct, to which I snapped back at myself “So why are things like poker playing, pistol duelling, bandit capturing and drinking till my ass falls off side quests or optional but herding cows is mandatory?” then myself ran for the hills cus he couldn’t think of a decent retort.

Probably my favourite of the side quests (that I bothered to try) was capturing bandits. Mainly because you’re given the option of either capturing them or just fill em full of led! I also was reminded heavily of Sunset Riders in these mini games which made it twice as fun for me. Also it’s a beautiful and divine middle finger in the direction of Ubi-Soft for this mini game of rounding up targets and “assassinating” them as I see fit, is done perfectly and flawlessly compared to it’s long drawn out series that is nothing but a former shell of itself. When I eventually get around to replaying this game I will waste more time on the mini games and side quests, which is a good segway to talk about the main story campaign.

Set in the final days of the old west to make way for the early stages of dumbass government America. John Marston is a former outlaw turned farmer who’s snagged up by the US Government to bring his old gang to justice. To make sure he cooperates they saw fit to kidnap his family and uses them as a bargaining chip (sorry who are the bad guys here?) as he travels across America and Mexico to bring his old buddies to justice.

My biggest gripe is John Marston himself. Yes he does badass things but the man himself is like a brick with an angry face drawn onto it… Or for a wrestling comparison, he’s basically Roman Reigns in a cowboy hat! I listen to him talk and he doesn’t sound like a hardass cowboy with a licence to murder, but rather a guy just reading his lines and waiting for his cheque to clear! The story itself is handled as well as Rockstar can, with no character feeling wasted and unimportant to the actual story…. With maybe one or two exceptions.

John’s family don’t come into things until right at the end and the game gives you a quick 20 minutes to establish them before the credits need to start rolling. To be fair, his son Jack gets an incredibly satisfying closure but his wife Abby comes off as a blank slate and forgettable. The only other lack of characterization comes from Escuella down in Mexico. He has a quick chat with John to establish himself and that’s it. I would have thought the guys I’m rounding up would have some degree of importance to the overall story. Sure not all games need to give their villains a big set up, like I never needed to hear Spark Man or Ludwig Von Koopa’s life story, but in a story heavy driven game like this that comes off as a misstep.

I did like the side characters but I didn’t spend enough time with them that I’d of liked. I mean an Irishman, a grave robber, HeavyBassX, randy Mexicans, a Sheriff, an old Cowboy, a sexy farmhand, a rebellious Mexican woman and a deranged drug user are the kind of people I’d love to hang out with, but the game kept disappointingly ham fisting Edgar Ross and “BIG GOVERNMENT IS BAD!!” speeches down my throat!

Controls? What can I say; it’s a sandbox crime game! If you don’t know how play those by now or how they work…. First of all, you must be a time traveller from the 70’s or that rock you’ve been living under is probably cosy as fuck! What I’ll expand on is what RDR does that say GTA or Saints Row doesn’t do. The pistol duelling mechanic can be encountered in mini games or in key moments of the story. These can be an extreme case of hit or miss, depending on your own personal reaction time. I only ever failed the final duel no less than 3 times before finally put*CENSORED TO STOP ENDING BEING SPOILED*Bastard had it coming too!

I don’t really care about graphics (since I’m the guy still using sprites in the age of green screen and SFM) but I have to give credit where it’s due here. This is probably the most stunning looking game I’ve ever seen on the 360. The world at times looks photo realistic than I was convinced it was a real world at times. Sure it isn’t as absorbing as say Minecraft but I got lost in the visual surroundings and sounds that I didn’t care… Until that “So far away” song came up and I could feel my ears bleeding violently.

I guess all that’s left to comment on is the glitches… Yes you will encounter them!

In my total playthrough I only really encountered two of them. The first one was when in a cutscene with John and Landon having a good old chat when this Mexican walks in, sits on his lap and begins to wobble. So Landon leans back, laughs while I have this mental image of an old man drinking whisky while taking a mustachio up the ass! The second one being the most amusing. Lusia is running her Mexican ass in circles while telling me how important it is we blow up these carts, her circle running gets sporadic that she nearly knocks me off the cliff I'm perched on.
I'm like "Hey, calm your tits Lillylivers do you want these asshats killed or not!!?"

In the end, Red Dead Redemption might just be one of the greatest creations from Rockstar to date. It’s a game you can truly get lost in if you ignore the story missions and just want to fuck about with what it has to offer. I’d say it has that Skyrim or Minecraft appeal in you can just waste hours doing truly nothing but it’s none the less fun all the way.

Now if we could get a sequel (or more likely a prequel since it’s set at the end of the old west) and let GTA just ride off into the sunset already then I’m totally on board for that!
491 - Chance Time by RandomDC3
491 - Chance Time
Played Mario Party 1 for the first time this week.... This is roughly what happened.
490 - Minions, Minions Everywhere by RandomDC3
490 - Minions, Minions Everywhere
Preowned Experiment: Big Villain 8 6/8
Minions, Minions Everywhere.

When I said I’d do a follow up to the last experiment, my fellow RTK member Kariookami requested me to replay Overlord 2, a game I did for a Preowned Experiment years ago.
My experience with the title wasn’t a happy one, but I agreed to cover it again after she explained to me what I did wrong last time. So now I can say I actually beat this game... after about 4 weeks playing it.

Because stress, depression, a burning hatred for your employer and video games are a dangerous mix.

Overlord was a game I’m quite fond of but the affection doesn’t extent to the inferior sequel (In my opinion) for it kind of took most of the fun out of being an Overlord and added bells and whistles where it didn’t need them. I guess I’ll start with one of the few pet peeves I have, mainly the choice of villain. In the first game, it was a general parody of fantasy quest games. Taking on corrupted versions of Elves, Dwarfs, Thieves, Paladins etc all had an amusing charm to it as you slaughtered each one and spread evil throughout the land. Yet in Overlord 2 you fight the Roman Empire.

No twist, no pun or clever satire. Just a one note joke about the Roman Empire. In that everyone is fat and has a name that ends in ius. It feels like a downgrade when compared to the general lampooning fantasy games got in the first title. It would be akin to Saints Row 2 only having the Ultor Corporation and not all the other colourful and wacky street gang parodies… Oh wait that was Saints Row 4 that went with a one note villain and bland troops.

Fuck you on that by the way!

 I mean the story is lifeless, but not as lifeless as a Zero Punctuation script but still dull when compared to what the first game established. The minions being the only likeable characters really says a lot in the grand scheme of things. Sure the Overlord is this badass hybrid of Lord Sauron and Megatron, but beyond that he doesn’t really have a personality to relate with and comes off as two dimensional and ultimately secondary when compared to the Minions. The game also brings back the mistress concept but it really leads to nothing. In the last game you could have 1 mistress to have a sex scene with but beyond that she just stood in your doom fortress collecting dust. Now you have THREE mistresses collecting dust and occasionally let you drive your minion into her (puns) but really what’s the point? I mean if it actually showed off a pair of titties then maybe it would be worth it but just buying curtains and then “implied sex” isn’t exactly a done deal to me!

Plus the choice of crumpet is very dull. Either the girl from Brave, Italian Milf or Evil Lyn feels kinda lacklustre when it could have thrown in a snow queen, a Valkryie or even a bandit lady to make this journey more interesting. Fuck I think I would have settled with one of those “Fatassius” ladies wobbling about like jelly on a plate!

Poontang aside, I kind of missed the general method of gathering life force. You see in Overlord 1, it was pretty simple. Kill everything and collect life force. That’s the way I liked it for it was straight to point “Kill people and turn them into my minions!” yet in Overlord 2 is not exactly that simple. You either club baby seals (not cool btw) or enslave towns by brain washing them into constructing weapons, armour and gather life force energy for you. Yes it makes it easier but takes half the fun out of it!

It’s also the chief method of gathering life force energy for killing rabbits, people or even birds gives you nothing. Meaning I have to look under every nook and cranny just to gather all 100 towns people, brainwash them and they slowly construct the resources I need. Yeah that’s cool I suppose but it kind of takes the fun out of the job when I think about it. I’m an evil Overlord hell bent on taking over the world! Yet here I am piddling about in a holiday resort watching my fat brainwashed slaves do my job for me, who just hoovers up all the cash from their collective hard work!

I didn't realise the evil Overlord was infact David Cameron!

Something got lost in translation from 1 to 2 me thinks. Something else that got lost in translation was the controls, which sometimes are even worse than before.

Say I want to target a weakness on the final boss, I hold down the L trigger to do such a thing yet the game focuses on every object except the that one target! Plus the minions don’t always respond when I want them too. I’ll send them out to swamp a target and only half of them respond while the rest just sit around picking their collective noses.

Since I’m complaining about things I hate, can we talk about the in game dialogue during bossfights? I think Sonic’s ever expanding friends have competition in the irritating department all because of Marius, the guy who will be replacing Palutena in my sex dungeon (she got out on parole for good behaviour) for nothing gets on my tits faster when smashing up the slug doom monster than Marius “Paul Heymaning” his way with hamfisted quip after hamfisted quip. I think watching him die was the most satisfying moment in the entire game, meaning I didn’t have to hear his nasally voice ever again!

That’s what is also dissatisfying with the experience, all the encounters with each member of the Empire is anti climatic. In Overlord 1, you could fight each corrupted member of the Heroes Guild (not the official title) yet here they just send their entire entourage while shouting support ala 60’s Batman! Then when they come face to helmet with your unholyness , you just either kick em or brain wash them to be your bitches. Not very satisfying when… well you know by this point.

 I also realise this was an early 360 title but the game is uglier than Katie Price. Almost to the point I’m convinced it was originally made for the original Xbox! Beyond that, there really isn’t much I can say that I haven’t said before about the game years ago. Yes my opinion of it is higher than it was last time and I now recomend it but ultimately, and I know Kari is gonna hate me for saying it.

This game is not as good as Overlord 1.
1 - Starting Again by RandomDC3
1 - Starting Again
I've decided to reboot my entire series. All plans I had for storylines, Preowned Experiments, Month Reviews and new characters have been scrapped because.....

... I now have a writing job at Marvel Comics.

Yeah, I never told you guys, the REAL reason I have been offline alot was I was actually having meetins with Marvel, they loved my ideas and they now own WinneBobble and all it's related content.

Dan Slott was the second writer for this new storyarc that's "so unique and never been done before!"

Oh, keeping with Marvel's new character policy, Random's going to be written out and replaced with a female, fat, hispanic, lesbian, liberal hipster and Stella's going to dress like Anita Sarkiseen.

Dr.Tarosan finally achieves his ultimate victory....


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CommanderZaktan Featured By Owner 2 days ago
Well Mewtwo is out today, for those who registered the games at Club Nintendo at least, you'll have to wait til next week. And what's this?!…
RandomDC3 Featured By Owner 2 days ago
Probably not the Ryu I'm thinking.
It is, watch the whole thing.…
RandomDC3 Featured By Owner 2 days ago
Not getting my hopes up..... Even if most of these reports are 80% true.
CommanderZaktan Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2015
Project X Zone is getting a sequel,…
RandomDC3 Featured By Owner 6 days ago
I am pleased.
CommanderZaktan Featured By Owner 5 days ago
And here's the trailer,…
RandomDC3 Featured By Owner 5 days ago
Love the additions of Kazuya and Shinobi.

Inner Fanboy: SONIC OR GO TO HELL!!!
pokecheckartz Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2015
Thx again... :P by pokecheckartz
RandomDC3 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2015
No Prob.
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