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644 - Just call me Angel by RandomDC3
644 - Just call me Angel
This is probably going to be the strangest review I’ve ever written. Mainly because I want you to know as little as possible about Deadpool as a film. What I mean by that is everything in this movie is a spoiler. Because here's the thing folks, just telling you a single joke from the film will actually ruin your experience. You remember that "small knives" joke from Amazing Spider-Man? How funnier would that have actually been if it wasn't in the trailers? The jokes they did show in the Deadpool trailers is just the tip of the ice berg. Even the movies opening credits are one of the best jokes in the entire movie. So rather than talking about the film, I instead want to talk about the world surrounding it and why it’s easily the best comic book movie since Iron Man.

As it’s been well documented by now, I’ve hit something of a Super Hero Movie burn out. I think a large part of that falls with so many movies coming out, and most importantly, too many characters who don’t need movies are getting movies. I actually find it depressing we'll be getting another Batman and Spider-Man reboot this soon.

The reason why I praised Daredevil and Jessica Jones over say Fant4stic or Thor 2, is that they tried something new with the source material or expanded beyond just a 2 hour CGI wankfest. That and the genre has fallen into a very tedious style or format. While some don't completely go down this road, but if you're being honest with yourself, you'd agree this is the formula they try to emulate.

“BE LIKE THE NOLAN BATMAN TRILOGY!”

Superheroes moping around, brooding on rooftops or having bombastic orchestral soundtracks, as they bullet time in the rain, stand around looking like they’re bored out of their fucking minds, or relying on Inception soundtracks to look “dramatic” or "dark" because Hollywood hasn't quite realised that only truly works for Batman and characters like Batman!

Guardians of the Galaxy and Ant-Man were the first films to say “fuck that noise” and had something a lot of DC Comics and Marvel movies didn’t have.

Humour. Geniune, actual humour.

Sure Iron Man has an endless pile of quips, but with Ant-,Man it felt more refreshing and organic to see a Super Hero Movie know how ridiculous it was and say “yes it’s a super hero movie and we’re bloody ridiculous!” because why would anyone want to see a guy in spandex, themed on a type of insect acting all broody and serious?

RIGHT SONY!?

Deadpool not only picked up the baton from Ant-Man but fucking ran the extra 50 yards with it! The movie knows it’s ridiculous and it plays to that strength. For a movie to make me stop giving a fuck about Captain America: Civil War…. That’s an achievement in itself.

In fact, let me just break this down with 7 simple points on why Deadpool is one of the best and the most refreshing Comic Book Movies in years,

1: It isn’t setting up a future movie.
Unlike the MCU, the movie isn’t a place holder for another movie down the line. It’s a stand alone comedy that doesn’t require you to watch another movie to understand anything.

2: It knows exactly what it is.
It’s not trying to be the next Man of Steel, The Dark Knight, Iron Man, Avengers or even Captain America: The Winter Solider. It’s just trying to make you laugh. A job it does VERY well.

3: It’s not afraid to make fun of itself, 20th Century Fox or it’s competition.
With the occasional jabs at DC Comics, the MCU and even Hugh Jackman. Deadpool hasn’t forgotten about “Barakapool” and let’s you know what it thinks of that and…..

4: …. It says what we’re all thinking about Super Hero Movies.
Being a parody film of sorts, Deadpool is quick to call out many tropes and clichés that it’s almost like watching the guy from CinemaSins occasionally offer a quick jab at the action on screen.

5: It’s Rated R.
This may sound like a strange thing to praise, but it’s the truth. Far too many movies are being dumbed down to be marketed to “a child friendly audience” that some characters can’t be who they are. The announcement that Deadpool was rated R was like all my Christmas’s coming at once. It would say questionable things, it would show risky material and it wouldn’t be afraid to just go there on occasion.

6: Best, and strangest, marketing campain ever.
A big issue I have with movies these days is they show TOO MUCH in the trailers. In fact you could practically see the entire Amazing Spider-Man 2 movie from it's trailers, and it seems Batman Vs Superman is making the same mistake. So rather than 50 trailers and TV spots showing you roughy 90% of the movie. Deadpool instead goes in a entirely new direction. Mainly Deadpool himself talking to the audience, getting to know them and having weird fantasies about Manchester United player Wayne Rooney.

If only more movies could have this much fun.


And most importantly.

7: It’s NOT produced by Disney!
Now this may seem strange since they produced both Daredevil and Jessica Jones. I personally feel that Deadpool wouldn’t have gotten the film he deserved under the Disney banner. A lot of the language would have been cut, all the nudity and gore would have been shown the door…. And it would be what happens when stupid soccer moms get their way so little Timmy can watch Deadpool be PG13.

Fuck little Timmy, fuck Soccer Moms (especially the good kind) and fuck Disney for watering down Jessica Jones from it’s Rated R content.

While I’ll be saying au revoir  to the MCU after Civil War, I’ll gladly follow Deadpool and content like his whether in the fuck they’re going.

DC Comics? Not so much.
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643 - A joke about English Weather by RandomDC3
643 - A joke about English Weather
The title of this page sums up what my week has been like.

The usual punch line about England is that “It’s always raining” and while there is a level of truth buried in there, it’s mostly been a lot windier than usual. You can imagine getting up at 5AM to go to work (isn’t my life fun?) while walking out in the freezing cold rain and it’s gale force winds blasting me in the face is like.

It’s so bloody typical isn’t it? America gets a lot of snow, and we get wind and rain. I’d suggest we make a trade…. But I don’t like snow either.

Still taking time to work on Identity Crisis. Mainly iron out some details and get more sprites made. That and Deadpool (2016) has been the highlight of my week, along with meeting up with my friends. So I wasn't in the mood to upload pages. In the meantime, a slight detour to focus on “the other two” who make up the British Isles.

While IC will focus on Daisy, Erin and Maggie. There really is not anything for Shannon and Charlotte to do, so here’s a little banter to expand their characters. Mainly I enjoy this sort of squabbling sisters act they have. Akin to how Michangello annoys Raphael in most TMNT incarnations, with Maggie acting as an overbearing and more violence prone version of Splinter.

The explanation will be giving near the end of Act II, but the short version for now is that Maggie is the step mother of both Daisy and Charlotte. Erin and Shannon were raised by their parents, till Shannon went to join the academy. Maggie is very strict with the girls when raising them, but ever since Daisy went off on her own, Charlotte has become quite the little diva. Maggie doesn’t want Charlotte to “end up like Daisy” but she‘s still in that rebellious teenager phase.

In Charlotte’s eyes, Daisy got away with murder and it wasn’t fair she wasn‘t allowed to have any kind of fun. Due to Maggie watching her like a hawk and “saving her” from any harm…. But if she catches her do anything she tends to spank her across her knee.

Very old fashioned parenting. These days a parent would give their child £5 and say “no don’t do that again!” only to look surprised they did it again.

When crafting each of the girls with their own unique personas. Charlotte was the one that was just “kind of there” and not really having a developed personality of her own. Now that Daisy’s dropping a lot of her negative qualities, I’ve attached them to Charlotte. Making her the only fan service character of the series. Now you might say “Isn’t that Stella?” and you’d be wrong.

To the best of my knowledge, nobody has really lusted over her (except Daisy in secret) when it’s been more of the opposite. I had a conversation with my friends Kari, Grace and Tarosan about Charlotte today (at time of writing) and Kari does not like Charlotte in anyway. Mainly she feels she doesn't accurately convey Wales at all. To be fair, it's early days and Daisy went through alot of changes too.

For now, Charlotte’s a bit of a prankster and enjoys winding the others up, while enjoying “art movies” and being in said “art movies” much to Maggie’s constant disapproval.

Maggie’s reasoning for being so hard with Charlotte will be explained, but looking at Daisy you maybe able to figure the answer out already.
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Once I put this journal up, I refuse to read comments until I have finished watching the movie.


I wanted this to be a page, but I'm strapped for time and I'm currently working on another page atm. The page would have been me repeatedly saying "PLEASE DON'T SUCK!!!" as the movie begins.


So my thoughts about Deadpool are set pretty low. Because if I go in with high expectations I'll leave dissapointed. I'm sure it will be fun mind you. Afterall, Deadpool is a character that can put a smile on even the most jaded assholes face. Even if I feel the character is somewhat overused these days.

The fact early previews gave it a 10/10 has me a little worried, but I'll find out soon enough. Now here are a few things I hope happen.

1: A cameo by Wolverine.

2: Deadpool is seen watching his own movie.

3: VERY CLEVER FORTH WALL BREAKS. Not lame ass shit like "Oh I'm in a movie!" kinda shit.

4: Nudity. This got rated R for a reason.

5: Deadpool kills X-Men Origins Wolverine's version of Deadpool (Barakapool)


I'll tell you my thoughts after viewing the movie.
642 - The Tenta-Cool Kids by RandomDC3
642 - The Tenta-Cool Kids
Splatoon.
Developed and Published by: Nintendo.
Genre: Third Person Shooter/Platformer.
Rated: U (Provided you avoid all the Splatoon Hentai)

You’ll notice I tend to be very forgiving of new IP’s. When I say new, I don’t mean “Dark Souls with a new coat of paint” or “I want to be Batman Arkham City!” but rather games who offer something new, while honouring ideas that came before it…. Instead of just being a previous game.

It’s why you’ll see me praise the likes of Left 4 Dead, Minecraft, Five Nights at Freddy’s and Undertale, while condemning Call of Duty, Destiny and Assassin’s Creed to the deepest depths of Hell.

So where does Splatoon fit into that equation?

When I first heard of the game during an E3 event, I found myself saying “Yeah k, whatever!” and thought nothing of it. Mainly because it barely got any screen time and wasn’t really the main focus of Nintendo’s showcase that year. I felt it would be nothing more than one of those launch titles a company puts out while you wait for a real exclusive to arrive.

Couple years go by, and this game won Best Multiplayer at the Game Awards 2015. Beating out the likes of Halo, Call of Duty and Destiny.

……I began to sit up and take notice.

While I wanted Smash Bros to be my second Wii U title, it was sadly sold out at my local GAME store, so I noticed Splatoon sitting in the pile. I wanted that to be my third game…. I figured “ah what the hell!”

I tend to give Nintendo stick over the years for two simple reasons.

1: They’re just as fallible as any other company since I’m no longer playing favourites with anybody.
2: I want them to stop relying on Mario, Pokemon, Zelda etc and take a risk now and then.

A risk well taken, as Splatoon is probably one of the best ideas they’ve had in ages…. And by ages I mean the late 90’s.


It is interesting to see Nintendo’s take on “what the cool kids are playing these days” with their own online focused third person shooter. Thankfully there idea of a third person shooter is not “A right wing gun wank fantasy about killing Russians or Muslims, being played by 12 years spouting more racism than a single 4Chan post!”

But rather “Kawaii little squid people shooting paint at each other in a Weeaboo Turf War Fantasy…. And inspiring a predictable pile of porn!”

Oh Nintendo, never change you mad bastards!

Set in some bizarre future scenario, where Squids have become the dominant species on the planet (everyone knows it will be Kratos Honey Badgers) where they all dress like Jet Set Radio rejects, make unfunny Ink puns and engage in the aforementioned paint turf wars.

That’s about it for the plot. Yes there is a single player campaign, but you could watch a Jada Stevens video in the time it takes to complete it so what’s the fucking point? Mind you, you could argue that’s what happens when you make a online shooter.

In fact I have the design document right here.

1: PUT ALL EFFORT INTO ONLINE PLAY.
2: MAKE THE SINGLE PLAYER MODE ABOUT AS LONG AS A JADA STEVENS TAKING IT UP THE ARSE VIDEO (20-30 minutes)
3: PATCH SHIT IN LATER.


Don’t let my snarky commentary deceive you. Splatoon is fun. The online parts being the reason to play this, I just feel the single player campaign is a little short and shallow. Very bare bones and lacking a major degree of substance. Mind you everyone’s been saying that so I don’t feel so bad.

Now online is where the real game is at. If you’re an FPS veteran you probably know how this all works. Hell, if you’ve played an FPS online in the last 10 years, I won’t insult your intelligence on how the features work. Where Splatoon differs is it occasionally throws in a mode called SPLATFEST. Every now and then the community get to take part in an amusing little contest based on two options. I thankfully bought my copy just in time to take part in the latest event.

The game will give you two things, you have to pick one then fight in that things name. I feel like Nintendo are deliberately making fun of fanboys with this mode. The choices on offer were do you like Barbarians or do you like Ninjas. I chose Ninjas because I seem to have more experience with them than the former.

Joined a lobby and got hooked. Well before trying that out I had my pals HeavyBassX, :iconkariookami: and VodkaHaze walk me through the game in a private lobby. After some paint based shenanigans (I refuse to make an ink pun) I decided to step into an online lobby and take part in the SPLATFEST. What I liked was how the game didn’t punish first time players, for I found myself (as a Level 1) able to take out Level 25 players with little to no frustration.

My preferred strategy was to hide as a squid behind walls, before popping up in a “surprise cockfags!” kinda approach.

I quickly rose up in rank and was able to buy new gear and weaponry. I haven’t really been playing it recently due to my comics needed updating and I picked up Resurrection F around the same time, I’ve been meaning to review that as well so stay tuned.

I know this review is pretty short, but honestly I’m not sure what else to say beyond straight up nitpicking. Splatoon is a interesting take on the shooter genre and I’m curios to see where Nintendo goes with this formula… Before predictably adding the Squids in the next Smash Bros game then throwing them next to F-Zero, Wario Ware and Earthbound in a box marked "Shit we no longer care about!"

I guess I’ll close with the only thing I dislike about the game.

Callie & Marie.

I have been warned “not to talk shit about my waifu’s” by various people, but these two are competing against Slippy Toad and Lady Palutena for the “Most Annoying Nintendo Character Ever” title (according to me) Every time you boot up the game, they appear to make cringe worthy commentary and closing with saying “Stay Fresh!” (A "how do you do fellow kids" moment) while telling you about the various maps on offer at the moment. I get the function behind it but I’d like the feature more if it wasn’t the first time you get when you turn the game on. It would have been better if it was the first thing you see WHEN you enter the lobby room but now I’m just nitpicking.

If you have a Wii U, or are looking to get one.

Make sure you get Splatoon. Because if anything can beat COD at “Best Multiplayer”

You’re INKclined to check it out….. Godammit!!!! I made one of those stupid puns.

*sighs*
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:iconlordchaosx:
LordChaosX Featured By Owner 16 hours ago
www.cbsnews.com/news/speaker-r…
We just might win this after all.
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:iconrandomdc3:
RandomDC3 Featured By Owner 5 hours ago
I wouldn't be surprised if they saw what happened with TheFineBros and realised it wasn't going to work.

But let's hope this keeps up, it's not over yet.
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:iconcommanderzaktan:
CommanderZaktan Featured By Owner 19 hours ago
And here's the preview clip of the Powerpuff Girls reboot. www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUXprM…

Honestly, it's decent. I got a chuckle from it, the animation is not bad, and the new voices aren't that bad. And yet, some of the fans don't like the new voices and wanted the old voice cast back, aside from Tom Kenny returning as the narrator and the Mayor. This is like the Sonic voice cast replacement all over again.
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:iconlordchaosx:
LordChaosX Featured By Owner 16 hours ago
Old voices, new voices. Doesn't matter. To me, the whole thing's just a cash grab for a series that doesn't really need it.
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:iconbillyirken:
BillyIrken Featured By Owner Edited 2 days ago
vine.co/v/i1DguKxnhWU

I'll just share this.
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:iconrandomdc3:
RandomDC3 Featured By Owner 1 day ago
........ Okay?
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:iconbillyirken:
BillyIrken Featured By Owner Edited 1 day ago
"Shrugs" I don't know.

I just really like Pixar, I'm sorry.
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:iconrandomdc3:
RandomDC3 Featured By Owner 1 day ago
It's cool.

I just didn't understand the link.
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:icontoaarcan:
ToaArcan Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Hey, I was wondering something recently.

I recall you not liking the Scott Pilgrim movie when it came out, and I was curious as to whether you ever sampled the comics that it was based on?

They're leaps and bounds ahead of the movie, if only because all the Edgar Wright genius in the world can't cram six books into one film and expect it to work without removing basically all the character growth and plot. The protagonists are much more likeable, the villains are a lot more diabolical than "Rather douchey music producer chap", and everything fits together in a more intricate manner than an awkwardly-attached battle-of-the-bands plot (Which is only featured in Book 1).
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:iconrandomdc3:
RandomDC3 Featured By Owner 1 day ago
I do recall reading the first comic.
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